Runaway Train.

Sometimes I feel like running away.

Money (That's What I Want)

Excerpt from a message sent to Grigsby earlier in the day:
"We couldn't come, because we don't even have enough money to go get a can of Cream of Chicken Soup for dinner tonight. (I found a recipe that has simple ingredients that we already have, and the only one we don't have is that damn soup. And we don't even have enough to go get it.)"

We ended up making something different, which wasn't as yummy. But it did the trick.

Later, on the phone with Grigsby:

Misti: (Hears U-Scan) Are you at Meijer?
Grigsby: Yeah.
Misti: (jokingly) You buying Cream of Chicken Soup?
Grigsby: Mayyyyyybe.
Misti: Haha, no you're not. Whatcha really getting?
Grigsby: Cream of Chicken Soup.
Misti: Are you SERIOUS?!
Grigsby: Yeah.
Misti: Grigsbyyyy! You didn't have to do that!
Grigsby: I know, I was hoping you hadn't eaten yet.
Misti: Awww.... we actually did...
Grigsby: Well you can use it tomorrow.

He drops it off, visits, and leaves.

Misti: That was so nice of Grigsby to do that. Seriously, that is the nicest thing that anyone has done for us.
Dave: I know!!
Misti: You know what I should do? I should leave something on his door. Like, little puppy treats for being a 'good boy' tonight. (Inside joke.)
Dave: Haha, really?
Misti: Yeah.

Later.

Dave: I am sooooo hungry...
Misti: I am so full. I just want something to drink.
Dave: (Seeing Dominoes commercial.) I do NOT need to be watching this right now.
Misti: Now if it were a drink commercial, we'd be in trouble.
Dave: I could go for a POP.
Misti: A BIG GULP!!!!
Dave: Yeahhhh!!
Misti: How about THIS? We take whatever bottles we can find... get the money and go to 7-11 for a drink... and then leave presents on Grigsby's door!
Dave: OKAY!!!

At Meijer.

Misti: HEY. Let's look in the trunk for bottles!
Dave: Okay!
Misti: JACKPOT!!!! (Noticing bottles from the cabin trip this summer.) Hey! There's some full ones in here. We could like... find some people in the parking lot and tell them they can have one for 50 cents. And then make them give us the bottle back!!
Dave: Oh, hey, did I give you that fifteen cents I had?
Misti: Yeah.
Dave: (laughing) We're pathetic.
Misti: Lemme check my wallet. (Noticing a few quarters.)
Dave: HONEY!!! You're RICH!!!!!

With bottles and change, we ended up with 4.55. And we have never been happier. We bought two Big Super Gulps. And we have some change left over. YAY!!!! We're gonna get Grigsby a treat, or make dinner with that soup and give him some!!

It was a great night.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Oh... The Clash... How your question plagues me.

Dave and I are wrestling with questions of whether to stay in Michigan, or whether to move to Arizona. We don't seem to be making progress, because we keep coming up with extremely logical pros and cons.

What makes me want to stay in Michigan?

My family. My mom and sister don't really have any friends, and so the three of us do a lot together. Leaving them feels more like abandoning them. My dad's health isn't great. He has emphysema, he's overweight. AND he has a new motorcycle. I worry about him quite a bit.

My friends. I have made the most amazing friendships over the past two years. Amazing enough to never want to jeopardize and lose them. I am the worst long distance friend ever. And I fear that my lack of responsibility will make me lose touch with them, and I will be making the biggest mistake ever.

The holidays. The holidays mean so much to me. Halloween and Christmas. And in Arizona, there's just not a holiday feel. Without turning leaves, cold winds, and snow - it's hard to get in the mood. And my life wouldn't be the same without the holidays.

My dog. I fear that traveling across the country would put a lot of stress on Tripper. And I fear that making her live in a home with a cat would be stressful too. Because chances are high that she will eat that cat. She killed a rabbit this summer. What wouldn't make her kill a cat?

My life. We'd have to abandon all of our furniture to make the move easier. We'd have to sell our couch, recliner, etc. and have to buy second-hand furniture in Arizona. I am so attached to my possessions, as material as it may be.

The living situation. We'd have to stay with Amy, Larry, and her kids until we could find a place to live and a place to work. That would be putting strain on us and on them, and we don't even know how long it will take.

Lake Michigan. I love it. I love it. I love it. I grew up on a lake. Lakes are my zen.

My judgment. I jump into things way too quickly, and without thinking.

Why do I want to go to Arizona?

Jobs. The job market and economy is leaps and bounds ahead of where Michigan is. Dave and I cannot get back on our feet financially, and we need a good place to start over. Arizona is the fastest growing state which means loads and loads of opportunities.

Beauty. Arizona is the most beautiful state I've ever been to. The culture is great, the scenery is breath taking, and it is all so perfect for me. There is so much Native American culture down there, it's like going to my 'mother land.'

Growing up. It's time I finally do things that are GOOD for me, instead of things that are FUN for me. And this feels like something that I am supposed to do. I felt so at home there. I am seeing signs every where. I was stuck behind a Hyundai Tucson at a train the other day. I didn't even know they made Tucsons.

My reasons for staying are reasons of fear. And my reasons for leaving are reasons of fear. Which one will win?

Another Day In Paradise

I heard about a show called Kid Nation, which airs on CBS on Wednesdays. But since I am so stuck on Fox (it's the only one that really comes in well on my TV) I never really tried watching it. Thanks to the glory of modern technology, I've been able to watch it online, and I am hooked. There's something about shows about kids that I am in love with. I loved watching Bug Juice on Disney when I was younger. I loved watching Brat Camp a few years ago. And I am loving this show.

It's about 40 kids (they are down to 39 though) who are dropped off in this pioneer ghost town in the middle of the desert. They have council leaders and districts and whatnot, and they are supposed to get the town running. It's probably the biggest life-building experience these kids will ever have. There are kids from 8 - 15 in this town, and from every walk of life. It's amazing to watch them work. They get so discouraged easily, but they also relish in their accomplishments.

It's inspired me to begin working on a story. I am a kid at heart, and I really wanna tap into that and work on a story. I know it's risky to post concepts online, but whatever.

I was thinking it'd be wonderful if EVERYONE had to go to this sort of town sometime in their life. Think of how mature we'd be, and how cultured we'd be if we had that experience! Anyway, so my idea is...

It's going to be very fantasy world meets real world. So, sci-fi, I guess. In every person's life, there is a time when they will be summoned to journey to Khi. Khi is a special world/environment set up to mirror the 'real-world' and each child will spend 1 year in Khi, living unsupervised without adults. They will work with each of the other kids there to build this city up from the ground. It will force them to build life skills, so they can mature and be ready for the real-world.

Khi is a special place, that is never the same twice. So your parents may have been in a desert, while you may be in a town on top of a mountain. There's no telling. And you are not permitted to discuss Khi in detail with anyone except the other children who are in your sector.

Khi is broken down into millions and millions of environments. Each environment is located on its own star. So when you look into the sky, and see a shooting star, it's someone's sector returning to the real world. People travel to Khi by way of the sun. They hop on board during the sunrise, reach a docking station, which takes you to your star.

So, I'm going to be developing that further, I do believe!! :)

Big Girls Don't Cry

Last night I finally finished Marley & Me. I have had this book since Christmas, and I've wanted it so badly, but for one reason or another, I could never pick it up and read it. Finally, at the beginning of last week, I did. I made it my "whenever" read. Whenever I'd go in the bathroom - I'd read a little. Whenever I had some down time at night, I'd read a little.

This book warmed my heart so much. You already know that I love dogs. So it shouldn't come as a surprise that this book touched me. For those who have never heard of it, Marley & Me is a memoir of life with the world's worst dog. Marley is a yellow lab who is "mentally unstable" in the best of ways. And for those who know MY dog, if you read this, it'll be like taking a peek into my life. :) My dog is mentally unstable. Haha.

It paints the picture from the day they meet Marley as a five-week old pup, to the day the bury Marley, thirteen years later. It also includes the tale of their family, and how it grew during those years. From being newlyweds to having three children.

I laughed out loud so many times while reading this. (Which is funny, considering I'd read it in the bathroom often.) I had to read so many paragraphs to Dave because it was like someone was writing a biography about Tripper. The best part about reading this book is I'd read it on the couch, with Tripper curled up in my lap. Like she was absorbing the story by osmosis or something. But I ended up reading some of it out loud to her. (She loves listening to stories, or songs. It's funny.)

And last night, I had tears pouring from my eyes as I finished the book. I had fallen in love with Marley, and so watching him get old and withered was terrible. And by the end, I was full out sobbing. Tripper had patiently been waiting by my feet and when I put the book down, she climbed in my lap and gave me more kisses than I've ever gotten. I couldn't even move my head, she had me in a Vulcan grip and wouldn't let me go. She turned my frown upside down, which is what she's best at.

Smarts she may not have, but loyalty she surely does. Looks like she was the big girl, and I was the baby last night, instead of the other way around!

Crazy Train

Hello, blog. Decided to start fresh. In honor of my newfound love of Degrassi, I shall follow in their footsteps and name each blog with a song title.

I'm getting really excited for Monday, because I get to go to my new doctor. My current doctor sucks unbelievably bad. It takes me forever to get in. I'm wondering if there is a V.I.P card I can apply for somewhere or something. Because I'm always stuck behind the velvet rope while I watch other patients walk gracefully through. I have to have my severed head hanging under my arm for them to take a look at me.

Anyway, Dave has an appointment, too. He and I are going to talk to our new doctors about our depression, and hopefully get prescribed something to balance us out. It's funny, because I've felt this way for almost 10 years now, and he has felt this way for a long time, too. So I'm wondering if things are going to be new between he and I! That's exciting!! :)

I've been reading a lot of things and seeing a lot of things lately that have to do with being a mom. And, as reluctant as I had been in the past, I have to say... the idea has started to warm on me. I know that right now I am infertile, but I'm just saying... the idea of a family has been really appealing lately. There would have to be a TON of things to straighten out (jobs, home, infertility, finances) before that would even begin to be logical. But at least I am not turned off to the possibility anymore.

The thought of Dave and I having no one else in our family just seems so... lonely. And that isn't appealing at all. So. Yeah. That's where we are.

Maybe we're just crazy! :)