Runaway Train.

Sometimes I feel like running away.

Money (That's What I Want)

Excerpt from a message sent to Grigsby earlier in the day:
"We couldn't come, because we don't even have enough money to go get a can of Cream of Chicken Soup for dinner tonight. (I found a recipe that has simple ingredients that we already have, and the only one we don't have is that damn soup. And we don't even have enough to go get it.)"

We ended up making something different, which wasn't as yummy. But it did the trick.

Later, on the phone with Grigsby:

Misti: (Hears U-Scan) Are you at Meijer?
Grigsby: Yeah.
Misti: (jokingly) You buying Cream of Chicken Soup?
Grigsby: Mayyyyyybe.
Misti: Haha, no you're not. Whatcha really getting?
Grigsby: Cream of Chicken Soup.
Misti: Are you SERIOUS?!
Grigsby: Yeah.
Misti: Grigsbyyyy! You didn't have to do that!
Grigsby: I know, I was hoping you hadn't eaten yet.
Misti: Awww.... we actually did...
Grigsby: Well you can use it tomorrow.

He drops it off, visits, and leaves.

Misti: That was so nice of Grigsby to do that. Seriously, that is the nicest thing that anyone has done for us.
Dave: I know!!
Misti: You know what I should do? I should leave something on his door. Like, little puppy treats for being a 'good boy' tonight. (Inside joke.)
Dave: Haha, really?
Misti: Yeah.

Later.

Dave: I am sooooo hungry...
Misti: I am so full. I just want something to drink.
Dave: (Seeing Dominoes commercial.) I do NOT need to be watching this right now.
Misti: Now if it were a drink commercial, we'd be in trouble.
Dave: I could go for a POP.
Misti: A BIG GULP!!!!
Dave: Yeahhhh!!
Misti: How about THIS? We take whatever bottles we can find... get the money and go to 7-11 for a drink... and then leave presents on Grigsby's door!
Dave: OKAY!!!

At Meijer.

Misti: HEY. Let's look in the trunk for bottles!
Dave: Okay!
Misti: JACKPOT!!!! (Noticing bottles from the cabin trip this summer.) Hey! There's some full ones in here. We could like... find some people in the parking lot and tell them they can have one for 50 cents. And then make them give us the bottle back!!
Dave: Oh, hey, did I give you that fifteen cents I had?
Misti: Yeah.
Dave: (laughing) We're pathetic.
Misti: Lemme check my wallet. (Noticing a few quarters.)
Dave: HONEY!!! You're RICH!!!!!

With bottles and change, we ended up with 4.55. And we have never been happier. We bought two Big Super Gulps. And we have some change left over. YAY!!!! We're gonna get Grigsby a treat, or make dinner with that soup and give him some!!

It was a great night.

Should I Stay Or Should I Go?

Oh... The Clash... How your question plagues me.

Dave and I are wrestling with questions of whether to stay in Michigan, or whether to move to Arizona. We don't seem to be making progress, because we keep coming up with extremely logical pros and cons.

What makes me want to stay in Michigan?

My family. My mom and sister don't really have any friends, and so the three of us do a lot together. Leaving them feels more like abandoning them. My dad's health isn't great. He has emphysema, he's overweight. AND he has a new motorcycle. I worry about him quite a bit.

My friends. I have made the most amazing friendships over the past two years. Amazing enough to never want to jeopardize and lose them. I am the worst long distance friend ever. And I fear that my lack of responsibility will make me lose touch with them, and I will be making the biggest mistake ever.

The holidays. The holidays mean so much to me. Halloween and Christmas. And in Arizona, there's just not a holiday feel. Without turning leaves, cold winds, and snow - it's hard to get in the mood. And my life wouldn't be the same without the holidays.

My dog. I fear that traveling across the country would put a lot of stress on Tripper. And I fear that making her live in a home with a cat would be stressful too. Because chances are high that she will eat that cat. She killed a rabbit this summer. What wouldn't make her kill a cat?

My life. We'd have to abandon all of our furniture to make the move easier. We'd have to sell our couch, recliner, etc. and have to buy second-hand furniture in Arizona. I am so attached to my possessions, as material as it may be.

The living situation. We'd have to stay with Amy, Larry, and her kids until we could find a place to live and a place to work. That would be putting strain on us and on them, and we don't even know how long it will take.

Lake Michigan. I love it. I love it. I love it. I grew up on a lake. Lakes are my zen.

My judgment. I jump into things way too quickly, and without thinking.

Why do I want to go to Arizona?

Jobs. The job market and economy is leaps and bounds ahead of where Michigan is. Dave and I cannot get back on our feet financially, and we need a good place to start over. Arizona is the fastest growing state which means loads and loads of opportunities.

Beauty. Arizona is the most beautiful state I've ever been to. The culture is great, the scenery is breath taking, and it is all so perfect for me. There is so much Native American culture down there, it's like going to my 'mother land.'

Growing up. It's time I finally do things that are GOOD for me, instead of things that are FUN for me. And this feels like something that I am supposed to do. I felt so at home there. I am seeing signs every where. I was stuck behind a Hyundai Tucson at a train the other day. I didn't even know they made Tucsons.

My reasons for staying are reasons of fear. And my reasons for leaving are reasons of fear. Which one will win?